18 4 / 2014

And the Waltz Goes On - Anthony Hopkins 

Sir Anthony Hopkins Hears The Waltz He Wrote 50 Years Ago For The First Time

Academy Award-winning actor Sir Anthony Hopkins was a musician before he got into acting. 50 years ago he wrote a waltz but was too afraid to ever hear it play. Dutch violinist André Rieu performs it for the very first time. Watch Hopkins’ reaction.

(Source: music-holic, via fatseux)

18 4 / 2014

(Source: chaemera, via inurashii)

18 4 / 2014

a-bit-of-rhetoric-and-charm:

timelady-of-221b:

joeeatspeople:

yesidolikecoatsbigtime:

Types of people who romanticize small town life:

  1. People who didn’t grow up in small towns

#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST

#THERE’S NOTHING TO DO
#EVERYONE’S ON DRUGS

Too true.

(Source: thatssoproblematic, via rogueofstars)

18 4 / 2014

appropriately-inappropriate:

d3manda:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:


Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.



UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)


I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

Guess what else, player?

I just laughed so hard I woke up the dog.

appropriately-inappropriate:

d3manda:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.


UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

Guess what else, player?

I just laughed so hard I woke up the dog.

(via piscula)

18 4 / 2014

cracked:

John Cheese’s mother-in-law isn’t the only person getting screwed, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
The 5 Worst Things About Getting a Job in a Small Town

#4. Businesses Take Advantage of Part-Time Labor
When my mother-in-law moved here last year, she got a [grocery store] job doing office work and payroll. She’s basically a manager without having the title or vast flowing wizard robes of one. It’s a pretty important job, which is why they pay her enough that she can live the life of luxury in income-based housing and qualify for government assistance with food.
How? Well, first, they start by paying her a single-digit per-hour wage (even after a raise), and as the manager told her with pride, “That’s the most we’ve ever paid anyone for this position! You’re doing great work!” Second, they have only two or three full-time employees, and she’s not one of them. Everyone who isn’t full-time is prohibited from working more than 28 hours per week so that they can avoid legally mandated healthcare benefits. Score!

Read More

cracked:

John Cheese’s mother-in-law isn’t the only person getting screwed, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The 5 Worst Things About Getting a Job in a Small Town

#4. Businesses Take Advantage of Part-Time Labor

When my mother-in-law moved here last year, she got a [grocery store] job doing office work and payroll. She’s basically a manager without having the title or vast flowing wizard robes of one. It’s a pretty important job, which is why they pay her enough that she can live the life of luxury in income-based housing and qualify for government assistance with food.

How? Well, first, they start by paying her a single-digit per-hour wage (even after a raise), and as the manager told her with pride, “That’s the most we’ve ever paid anyone for this position! You’re doing great work!” Second, they have only two or three full-time employees, and she’s not one of them. Everyone who isn’t full-time is prohibited from working more than 28 hours per week so that they can avoid legally mandated healthcare benefits. Score!

Read More

18 4 / 2014

nebulasnovasandnightsky:

look if you unironically say ‘money can’t buy happiness’ then either you’ve never faced a real financial struggle or you’ve achieved enlightenment, because goddamn does financial security feel an awful lot like happiness when it’s something you’re not used to

(via ethiopienne)

17 4 / 2014

In which Jaime required coffee in order to sit through the wedding vows. [x]

(Source: maimedlion, via baelor)

17 4 / 2014

This is every argument I have with my boyfriend.

(Source: rossatrone, via starkswaters)

17 4 / 2014

owning-my-truth:

(via The Equity Gap, 1965-2013 [Infographic] - COLORLINES)

In case someone ever asks you why affirmative action programs are still so important and relevant to this day. Put together by one of my favorite sites, Colorlines

(via shannibal-cannibal)

17 4 / 2014

ignoranthipster:

Disney gender swaps by Sakimi Chan

(Source: likeafireonpavement, via shannibal-cannibal)

17 4 / 2014

dynastylnoire:

quisqueyasworld:

calakazam:

seriously go vote for laverne cox in this like fuck does a cis man get more attention for a shit portrayal of transwomen than u know, an actual living transwoman

COME ON TUMBLR!

booooooooooooooooost

(via once-and-future-queen)

17 4 / 2014

16 4 / 2014

purplepandapudgemiz:

chibisokka:

reshiham:

canuckistanicefront:

reshiham:

Someone actually fucking did the math for this

assuming shes average height. her boobs appear to be about 1/3 her torso and average torso of a female being 22.6” her boobs are about 7.5” long. a foot is 12 inches. theyre moving at 5,600ft aka 67200 inches a second. her boobs are flopping 8960 times a second.

I didn’t think this could get better, but it did.

8960 flops per second would result in the shockwaves from her breasts emitting an 8960 Hz tone, which is actually a very shrill noise within the range of human hearing. You can enter 8960 into this website to hear an audio sample of what her breast-tone would approximately sound like

YES IT DID GET BETTER

(Source: greatjaggi, via once-and-future-queen)

16 4 / 2014

The strangler is a rare poison, which makes the person unable to breathe. The poison is made from plants that are only found on islands in the Jade Sea. The leaves of the plant are picked and aged, then soaked in a wash of limes, sugar water and rare spices from the Summer Islands. The leaves are then discarded, but the liquid is kept and thickened with ash and allowed to crystallize. It turns a deep purple color.

(Source: daeneryus, via gameofgifs)

15 4 / 2014

9gag:

Everyone needs a best friend

9gag:

Everyone needs a best friend

(via crimsonpassion)